Working in the Bay Area, I'm often asked to help brilliant engineers improve their leadership and communication skills.
"They've got the smarts; if they could just get the interpersonal skills to match, they'd be all set" is what I often hear from companies who bring me in.
Oh, I wish.
Yes, interpersonal skills are important. But even more so are intrapersonal skills; the skills to help you manage what's going on inside yourself. This would include self-confidence; the ability to skillfully handle difficult conversations, emotions or experiences; or the ability to navigate uncertainty-just to name a few.
What goes on inside you affects how you interact with your world. It impacts your body language; your listening skills; your likeability. It also affects your performance-your critical and analytical thinking, and particularly your capacity for innovation. In fact, few things affect performance more than the way we feel about ourselves.
So really, it's worth starting there; with these intrapersonal skills as the necessary foundation for leadership. Giving people great external communication skills, without giving them the skills to handle internal stuff, is a bit like putting pretty turrets and balconies on a house with faulty foundations. Nice touch; but at the first earthquake, everything falls apart.
Olivia Fox Cabane is a leadership coach based in Palo Alto, Calif. Her topics of expertise include charisma (yes, it can be taught!), influence, and persuasion. To learn more, visit her website at
