Hopefully you could relate with my article last month, “The Dentist Diaries—Part 1,” comparing my experiences with the dentists with those of our own mortgage practices. Since I had read that the only thing people dreaded more than a trip to the dentist, was applying for a mortgage, I thought it was very fitting to compare the two industries. So let’s pick up where I left off.
No. 5—Building trust. At the end of my visit with the dentist, after almost two hours of hearing “relax” and “open wider” (I’m not sure, but this may be an impossible thing to do.), the dentist rushed me out of the office with instructions he threw over his shoulder of taking medication if the pain got too bad, and “...see ya next week...”
I pulled this from online site of dentists-to-dentists advice: “Trust—Trust helps prevent anxiety. If patients trust you, it will help keep them comfortable. There are two elements to trust: skill and caring. If patients feel that you care and that you have the necessary skill to properly treat them, they will put their trust in you and trust dispels anxiety.”
Although this dentist may very well be a skilled dentist, and may be in his own unique way he may have “cared,” I felt neither that he cared nor that he was skilled. As a result, I did not trust him, and my anxiety level went out the roof.
What about us? Do we discount the client’s feelings, rushing them in and pushing them out, thinking that we know the best plan for their home purchase or refinance, in our heart knowing that we will take care of the details but just not sharing those details with the client? By doing so, we may fail to build the necessary trust by exhibiting caring along with our skill and expertise.
No. 6—More on communication, namely explaining what just happened. Many times during the loan process, a problem may spring up. Appraisals do not make value, or come in subject to repairs. There can be title problems with the property, boundary line disputes, or judgments on the seller. When these happen, it is time to communicate, communicate, communicate with your client to tell them, “this is what has happened and this is how we will deal with it...”
Just knowing that you are keeping them posted on the progress of the process will go very far in building respect and trust. Do not leave it to the Realtor to handle this, this is your responsibility. The client just wants to know what is happening on the largest financial investment they will ever make.
When you explain the pain, such as the necessity of the contract being extended, or why the seller cannot now pay any closing costs because the property didn’t make value or repairs have to be done before closing, and you explain how you will handle the challenge, you become a hero in their eyes.
Does this make the pain go away? No, but it is much more tolerable when the client knows what is the source of the pain and how you plan to deal with it.
Four days after I left the dentist chair, the pain was excruciating. When I attempted to see the dentist to have this checked, the assistants put me off until my one week post-op appointment, downplaying any pain that I might be experiencing with the comment “some pain is expected considering all of the work we did on your mouth.”
“Well, exactly what did you do? I thought these were routine extractions preparing for the braces?” I was a little agitated that I did not know this. But when I had left the dentist office on that fateful day, I was not operating in full capacity, having had dozens of injections, and two hours of pain.
Finding out four days after the fact that they had done a bone graft on one site, and had to cut one tooth out, was a little disarming. No wonder I am in pain, I thought. I can just suffer through for a few more days.
No. 7—Do not assume to know the level of your client’s pain. Since the mortgage business is all we do and experience all day, every day, we become numb to the pain (and therefore anxiety) that many of our clients may experience because of stricter guidelines and increased documentation. Many of our clients come to us with this anxiety already in place because of negative media coverage which has them doubting if a home loan is still even possible for them.
Remember everyone has a story. Providing what seems to be standard documentation, i.e., “yes, Mr. Smith, I do need all pages of your last two years’ tax returns...” may seem routine to us and we can’t imagine that this would cause pain.
But if those copies are stored four states away, and the tax preparer was their ex-wife’s Uncle Harry, getting those copies could create extreme pain for the client.
When our clients share their feelings of aggravation, anxiety and “pain,” we should acknowledge their feelings, instead of ignoring them. It doesn’t mean that we will not still need those copies. But, everyone wants to be heard. When we acknowledge their level of pain and anxiety, they realize we hear them. And there are times, when we can even assist them. Just something as small as our offering to call ex-Uncle Harry for the copies might alleviate some of their pain.
Seven days later, at the post-op appointment, after the assistant had assured me over the phone that the pain I was experiencing was “normal,” she gasped upon examination and exclaimed. “You must have a very high pain tolerance. You have a dry socket. How have you stood the pain this long?”
I wanted very badly to say something really witty right here and I wish I could report I did. But it’s hard when you are in pain, your mouth is open, and you just want some relief somehow, someway, from somewhere. So I said nothing. They assumed they knew the level of my pain. They did not.
Louise Thaxton is a producing branch manager for Fairway Independent Mortgage Corp. Call 866-960-9115 or subscribe to her blog at
