Body language expert Carol Kinsey Goman knows that nonverbal signals play a key role in helping people form quick impressions. "Our ability to instantly read body language is one of our basic survival instincts and can be traced back to primeval origins. But, as innate as this ability may be, not all of our first impressions are accurate," she said.
Ms. Goman offers five tips to keep in mind when reading someone's body language: "To accurately decode body language, it needs to be understood in context, viewed in clusters, evaluated in relation to what is being said, assessed for consistency, and filtered for cultural influences."
- Context: The meaning of nonverbal communication changes as the context changes. Just like in real estate, location matters. We can't begin to understand someone's behavior without considering the circumstances under which the behavior occurred.
- Clusters: Nonverbal cues occur in what is called a "gesture cluster" - a group of movements, postures and actions that reinforce a common point. A single gesture can have several meanings or mean nothing at all (sometimes a cigar is just a cigar), but when you couple that single gesture with other nonverbal signals, the meaning becomes clearer. A person may cross her arms for any number of reasons, but when the gesture is coupled with a scowl, a headshake, and legs turned away from you, you now have a composite picture and reinforcement to conclude that she is resistant to whatever you just proposed.
- Congruence: When thoughts and words are in tune (when a person believes what she is saying) you see it corroborated in her body language. Her gestures and expressions are in sync with what is being said. You will also notice incongruence, where gestures contradict words - a side-to-side headshake while saying "yes" or a person frowning and staring at the ground while telling you they are happy. Remember, too, that incongruence is a sign, not so much of intentional deceit, as of inner conflict between what someone is thinking and saying.
- Consistency: You need to know a person's baseline behavior under relaxed or generally stress-free conditions so that you can compare it with the expressions and gestures that appear when the person is under stress. What is his normal way of looking around, of sitting, of standing when relaxed? How does she respond when discussing some non-threatening topic? Knowing someone's behavioral baseline enhances your ability to spot meaningful deviations.
- Culture: All nonverbal communication is influenced by our cultural heritage and the higher the emotional level, the more likely it is that culture-specific gestures will show up. In addition, body language is affected by all the sub-cultures we're a part of. Take posture, for example. Ballet dancers are trained to hold their bodies' chest-forward, so you'll often see them standing with their heels together and toes pointed out (a miniaturized "first position" posture). Many office workers are round-shouldered with a slight slump in the chest (from hours spent hunched over their keyboards). Ex-military personnel often carry a shoulders-back, spine-straight stance long after their tour of duty has concluded.
Ms. Goman is the president of Kinsey Consulting Services, Berkeley, Calif. More information is available at her website,
